This Thursday (21st March 2013) is LGF’s ‘Sex Tips Live’ night at the Eagle Bar, Manchester.
Hosted by the handsome Martin Coops Cooper the night promises to be a fun filled affair in game-show format – it will test how much you know about sex, safer-sex and how to get the most out of your man! There’ll be fun, games and prizes – not to mention alcohol. Plus visiting hunks from Manhunt.net on the premises. Oh and I’ll be there – in leather. What’s not to like?
The bar opens at 5pm and the fun kicks off around. The fun and games start around 8pm. Entry is free.
Come along, you just might learn a thing or two
For directions check out The Eagle Manchester’s website
For more on the Lesbian & Gay Foundation (LGF) check out their site.
See you then,
Well hello there,
This week I’m lucky enough to have a guest post from our favourite TV doctor and fellow Attitude columnist, the handsome Doctor Christian Jessen. In this post we won’t be discussing embarrassing bodies or healthy eating, but rather condoms – the simple tool for safer sex…
We all know that condoms offer us the best protection (98% effective when used properly) from both STIs (Sexually Transmitted Infections) and unwanted pregnancy, but are you sure that you’re using them correctly?
Don’t be so sure: a study of 1,400 teens by Southampton University found that 6% had put the condom on too late and another 6% took the condom off too soon.
Here are some simple DOs and DON’Ts to make sure you’re using your condoms properly:
- Only use approved latex or polyurethane condoms that bear the BS Kite mark.
- Make sure you have the right condom for YOU – just like penises they come in many sizes.
They can be measured for at home by you and ordered online to save any embarrassment.
- Check the date before you use it, out of date condoms become brittle and break.
- Make sure you have the condom the right way round BEFORE you apply it to the head of your penis.
- With one thumb and finger grip the tip of the condom to squeeze out any air, then use your other hand to roll the condom as far down as you can.
- Use a water or silicon based lube – this reduces friction and reduces risk of breaking the condom.
- If you’re having a long session consider taking a break and switching to a new condom.
- If you’re playing with more than one partner (lucky you) – use a different condom for each person. The same applies to sex toys, put on condom on them and change with every partner.
- Pull out whilst you’re still hard – making sure to hold the base of the condom.
- Throw it in the bin, don’t flush it.
- Don’t use an out of date condom – they can break more easily, and we don’t want that.
- Don’t bite condom wrappers open – you may damage the condom inside.
Remember that long nails can also cause damage to condoms.
- Don’t unroll the condom until you’re ready to roll it down and over your penis.
- Don’t use an oil based lube (this includes Vaseline and baby oil) – the oil weakens the condom and can lead to it failing.
- Don’t re-use a condom, this shouldn’t need saying but we’ll throw it in anyway.
- Don’t use two condoms at once – the friction between them can tear both condoms.
- Don’t use a condom and a female condom (or femidom) together for the same reason.
You can buy condoms at supermarkets, pharmacies and most convenience stores, if you’re too shy to do it in person why not order yourself some online from NHS Freedoms, and don’t forget that you can always pick some up for free from your local Sexual Health Clinic.
Doctor Christian Jessen
Hello? Is this thing on? Good…
Today I’m talking about Gonorrhea, I’m sure you’ve all heard about it at some point or other, it’s commonly known as “the clap”.
Gonorrhea is one of the most common sexually transmitted sexually transmitted infections (STIs) but that doesn’t mean it isn’t something that should be taken seriously.
First up let’s look at the symptoms, (I hope you’ve not just eaten):
- A white-ish/green-ish discharge from your penis and/or arse
- Anal discomfort
- A burning sensation when you pee
- Inflamed foreskin
- Painful testicles and/or prostate gland
- A white-ish/green-ish thick discharge from your vagina and/or arse
- Anal discomfort
- A burning sensation when you pee
- Painful abdominal region
- Bleeding between periods
But just because you don’t have symptoms doesn’t mean you don’t have it, 10% of men and 50% of women are asymptomatic (show no symptoms at all).
How is Gonorrhea passed on?
- Unprotected anal or vaginal fucking
- Unprotected oral sex (including rimming, and going down on a girl)
- Sharing sex toys (without washing thoroughly or using a fresh condom each time)
- Fingering multiple partners (without washing thoroughly between each)
What happens if I don’t get it treated?
- In girls it can lead to Pelvic Inflammatory Disease
Which can lead to fever, vomiting, abscesses and infertility amongst other things.
- In guys it can lead to a very serious and painful infection of the testicles.
How do I get tested?
- The most common methods of testing are a penile/anal/vaginal swab. A urine sample may also be taken.
What’s the treatment?
- Unlike most bacterial infections which are treated with oral antibiotics in the form of pills, Gonorrhea is treated by an injection of strong antibiotics directly into one of your ass cheeks.
Hopefully you’re all sensible people out there and going for routine STI screenings at your local GUM or Sexual Health Clinic, but if you haven’t been for a while maybe it’s time you popped down and got checked out. After all it’s not just Gonorrhea that’s out there is it? Don’t forget about chlamydia, LGV, syphilis, hepatitis (A, B and C) and of course HIV. If any of your results come back positive don’t forget to inform any recent sexual partners, if you don’t feel comfortable doing this most clinics will offer to do this for you anonymously.
Your health is in your hands, but you can only look after yourself if you know all the facts. If you need to find a clinic near you check out: www.tht.org.uk/sexual-health/Service-finder
Have a great weekend,
Currently 100,000 people are estimated to be living with HIV in the UK, but an estimated 25% of those are undiagnosed.
That’s 25,000 people who have HIV and don’t know about it! As we come to the end of HIV Testing Week in the UK and approach World AIDS Day 2012 I put some of your questions about getting tested and HIV to Dr Sebastian Winckler from DrEd.
1. Why is it so important to get tested for HIV?
Early testing is vital both for you, and for the people you’re sleeping with.
If you’ve got HIV and you’re getting treatment you can expect to live 40 years longer than someone who isn’t receiving treatment.
If you’re taking antiretroviral medication, you become less infectious to other people. Being aware of your status means you can start putting certain measure in place (such as safe sex)
to prevent transmission, as well as looking after your own health.
2. What stops some people from getting tested?
There are a lots of reasons why people avoid HIV tests, but usually it’s down to:
- The stigma surrounding HIV and AIDs: Despite advancements in treatment, in some communities there is still stigma about being HIV+, so many people feel embarrassed about getting tested. Remember, there is no shame in being HIV+.
- The inconvenience of testing: If you work during the day, it can be hard work finding the time to go.
- Fear: Some people are simply scared off getting a result they don’t want to hear. Remember though, it’s better to get tested and treated rather than making yourself, or others, ill.
3. Where can I get tested?
HIV tests are available free and confidentially from:
- Sexual health (GUM) clinics
- HIV testing centres (Terrence Higgins Trust Fastest centres, for example)
- LGBT Centres
- GP’s and family doctors
- HIV tests are available to buy from:
- Private clinics
- Online doctors services
4. I haven’t had any symptoms, so I probably don’t have HIV, right?
Wrong. Most people will experience a short, flu-like illness about 2- 6 weeks after being infected. This is your immune system putting up an initial fight against the virus and can last for up to a month. But, this can be easily mistaken for the flu and 20% of people don’t experience any symptoms at all.
After this has gone away, you are unlikely to notice any other symptoms for a long period of time. So the only way of knowing for sure is getting yourself tested.
5. Can a test pick up any HIV infection, regardless of when I’ve caught it?
No. A certain amount of genetic material needs to build up in your system before it can be accurately detected by a test. The time taken for this to happen is called the ‘window period’ and this is different for every test.
- The standard antibody (Ab) test will pick up HIV if you caught it more than 3 months ago.
- The combined antibody/ antigen test (4th Generation test) will pick up HIV if you caught it more than 6 weeks ago.
- The HIV PCR test will pick up HIV if you caught it more than 7-10 days ago.
In most cases, you will be given either the standard antibody or combined test. If you test negative for these, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you are HIV negative, because you might have been infected within the last 3 months (or 6 weeks). You are therefore advised to take a second test 3 months later for the all clear.
If you want a faster result you can pay for a PCR test. But these are only offered at some clinics and may cost up to £250.
6. I think I’ve caught HIV within the last few days, what do I do?
If you’re worried that you’ve contracted HIV very recently, as in, within the past 72 hours (3 days) then you should go to your local GUM clinic or A&E department and request emergency PEP treatment.
7. I’m afraid to get tested because I don’t like needles
HIV tests don’t have to be done via needle or syringe, some clinics use ‘Fastest’ Rapid Testing which simply takes a prick on the end of your finger. Other clinics may take oral swabs instead, this method is considered less effective than a blood test however, so some clinics won’t offer it.
8. How long do I have to wait for my results?
That depends on the clinic you go to. Most will contact you with your result (or ask you to come back in for it) within 3-5 days. If you take a rapid test your result will be ready within the hour. Some clinics can take up to 2 weeks however, don’t be afraid to ask when you should expect the results.
9. What happens if I test positive?
First off, a positive result doesn’t always mean you’re HIV+. There is a small margin of error, so all positive results must be followed up by a confirmation test.
If you do test positive for that, then the doctor or nurse who informs you of your result will set up a meeting with a specialist who can assess the stage of your infection and talk to you about relevant treatment options. You’ll be put in touch with local HIV support groups who can help you cope emotionally, and make you realise that a positive result is not the end.
Thirty years on and HIV is still a problem in the UK, but it is no longer a death sentence. There is help out there and the earlier you get tested, the better your prospects. Whatever you do, make sure you get tested this HIV Testing Week.
Some charities that can help:
Happy Friday to you lovely people,
Today, Friday 23rd November 2012 marks the start of National HIV Testing Week here in England. This is the first time such a large initiative has been run to encourage the people of England to go out and get tested.
National HIV Testing Week runs from Friday 23rd November to Friday 30th November, finishing just before World AIDS Day on Saturday 1st December.
The initiative is being run by the Terrence Higgins Trust, the UK’s largest HIV charity (who are celebrating their 30th birthday this year) and supported by a whole host of other organisations such as BASHH, BHIVA and the HPA.
Many people are put off going for HIV test by a fear of needles or having blood taken, but the fact is most clinics these days use rapid testing known as FastTest which involves a simple prick on your finger and you’ll get the results within minutes.
Annie Lennox was interviewed this week for ITV News about her views on HIV and testing in the UK, she said:
“We’re still struggling with the issue of stigma, fear and ignorance, There are many people that now, actually need to get tested. Friday 23rd at the end of the is the begining of National Testing week here in the country and we’ll be encouraging people to go get tested and find out their status… Go and get tested, find out your status, then you can know what you’re dealing with.” You can watch the full interview here: http://vimeo.com/53871991
Boris Johnson, The Mayor of London said:
“London is home to almost half of all people living with HIV in the UK, but a quarter of them are unaware that they carry the virus. It is vital that people who might be at risk get tested, not only to reduce the risk of transmission to others, but to ensure that they get the life-saving treatments that are available”
Even if you’ve been tested recently, or are HIV+ why not help promote National HIV Testing week via your facebook or Twitter using #HIVTestingWeek and encourage your friends to go and get tested. The sooner you know, the sooner you can take control of your health and protect those around you.
Enjoy your Friday and weekend!
Lots of Love,
Life+ the must have HIV app
It seems like there’s an mobile app for everything these days, apps to monitor your sleep pattern, make you look old, give you a squeaky voice – but how about an app that’s actually useful?
The Terrence Higgins Trust (THT) have brought out a new iOS (iPhone, iPod, iPad) app aimed squarely at those of us in the UK living with HIV. Now, there are already apps out there that remind you to take your medication, chart your blood results, or give you health advice – but for a price, and certainly not in the same place.
Say hello to Life+ from THT…
- Create medication reminders
- Look up HIV medication information
- Record and chart your blood results
- Jot down notes to discuss with your healthcare team
- Access a wealth of HIV and sexual health information from THT’s vast knowledge banks
- Log onto the MyHIV.org.uk community forums
- Contact THT Direct for phone support
How much does this cost I hear you ask? Not a single penny. All you need is a free account at MyHIV.org.uk – so what’re you waiting for? Head to MyHIV.org.uk and create your account (if you’ve not got one already!) and then head to the Apple App Store and download Life+
(note from THT: there’s a little glitch in the app at the moment that means you need to give it a few seconds to load, this should be ironed out in the next update)
Just a quick post to update you that the August Issue of Attitude Magazine is OUT NOW – including, of course, my column on life with HIV. This month I focus on how being diagnosed has left me scared of sex, and how I’m dealing with that.
To celebrate London Olympics 2012 there’s plenty of sporting goodies inside, with the obligatory scantily clad men.
You can get it now on iPad edition, or it will be in stores from this Friday 27th July.
Thanks for reading,
Thirty years ago today, on the 4th July 1982, a man called Terry Higgins became one of the first people to die of AIDS at a time when almost nothing was known about HIV/AIDS.
Upset and angered by the way Terry and his partner Rupert were treated his friends set up the Terry Higgins Trust, later to be renamed the Terrence Higgins Trust (or THT for short), with the purpose of raising awareness and preventing the spread of HIV.
Today, thirty years later, the THT has grown dramatically from that small group of friends in an East London flat to the UK’s biggest HIV charity but they still have the same core mission – to raise awareness of and prevent the spread of HIV.
On a personal note I’d like to thank Terry, Rupert and everyone who works and volunteers for the Terrence Higgins Trust. You’ve helped me so much in the last year, from providing information about HIV and my treatment, to giving me counselling free of charge and helping me meet other HIV positive people through your MyHIV.org.uk website. You’ve been there for me in some of my darkest hours, and I don’t know where I’d be without you. I think Terry would be very proud of you all.
Please all help me wish the Terrence Higgins Trust a happy 30th birthday, and if you can show your support by making a donation to this very worthy cause: http://www.tht.org.uk/howyoucanhelpus/donations/ourappeals/
Good Rainy Friday to you all,
Before I start this post, I should say that this one isn’t teribbly HIV related, but more of a general life diary entry… now let’s begin.
I’ve been on online ‘dating’ sites for a very long time now, probably longer than I should have really, I joined a certain one when I was 13 and caused all sorts of havoc for the owners/admins – and since then the number of websites I’ve used has grown and grown until I couldn’t keep track of them.
I’d get home of an evening and check my twitter and Facebook, then I’d head onto gaydar, dudesnude, fitlads, manhunt, gayromeo, recon, and a few others which I can’t even remember. I’ve been doing this for nearly 3 years now and where has it got me? Nowhere really. I’ve dated three guys, one of which was an ass and two of which were bat crap crazy.
So last week I took the decision to leave all these sites behind, it was both therapeutic and a little scary logging onto each site one by one and deleting my profiles – some I’ve even been paying for. Shortly after I’d done away with my last profile I began to worry about what I’d just done, had I put myself at a disadvantage for finding someone special? But then I recalled the general quality of messages of I got on these sites – usually photos of people’s crotches but no faces, or elderly gentlemen offering to be “generous” to me. That’s not really the kind of attention I’m after.
During Birmingham Pride (at the weekend) I met an awesome guy, and we hit it off pretty spectacularly. This without the use of the internet, or being asked “what you upto?”, or ”what you into?” or even the less common but still awful “ASL?”. Now before you get ahead of yourself, I don’t know if anything is going to happen with this guy I met over Pride, but I’m secretly hoping it does – he’s very hot and very very lovely.
I feel for honestly and completeness I should say that I’ve retained my Grindr profile, purely because it’s a great way to chat to my mates for free, and it’s a laugh at train stations when you’re bored.
I’m not entirely sure what to use my computer for now I don’t log on to all those sites, I’m sure I’ll find a purpose though – it makes a rather handy mirror with the webcam…
Two blog posts in one week? I know, I’m spoiling you, but read on…
Possibly the single biggest issue for me about being HIV+ isn’t my health, the medication etc, it’s actually the rejection that you can face when you tell someone your status.
One of the first people I ever disclosed my status to was a holiday romance. We’d been hanging out for a couple of days, drinking, swimming, holding hands etc, all very romantic. One afternoon I got a text asking me to spend the night with him at his hotel, I thought it only fair that I tell him my (fairly recently found) HIV status. That was one of the most difficult texts I ever had to send not just from my nervous clammy hands or the heart beating in my mouth.
He replied shortly saying that he was “OK with it”, but at the same time said that we’d have to postpone the night at the hotel because of plans with his friends. That was the last time we ever had a proper conversation. I tried chatting to him a couple of times after that, mostly he just ignored my calls/texts – the final time he answered but pretended to be someone else. I’d been well and truly rejected. Gutted.
Since that day I’ve had a policy of telling people I plan to sleep with/date as soon as possible. If someone messages me on Gaydar/Grindr asking for a fuck I have no problem saying right up front “By the way, I’m HIV+. I hope that’s not an issue?”. But as I found out last night it’s still pretty nerve-wracking telling someone you have feelings for.
Last night I agreed to go on a date with someone I’ve been talking to for a while. He’s very handsome, totally buff and a bit shorter than me. Amazing. Then it dawned on me that I was going to have to tell him. I decided to do it then and there, seeing as we were already chatting.
I said “In the spirit of openness and honesty I need to share something with you. Plus it saves us both heartache if it’s something you feel you can’t handle. Please be honest with me either way. I’m HIV positive”. Cue a ridiculously long wait. Why wasn’t he replying? Was it too much? Fuck, fuckity fuck.
He *eventually* replied “Hey, don’t stress about it. My ex had it, and we were together five years”. Overjoyed. He was absolutely fine with it and thanked me for being so honest. We’ve even planned our date for this Monday night coming.
Disclosing your status isn’t an easy thing to do, no matter how readily we might do it. All that we ask is that the people we tell are honest with us. If you’re uncomfortable being with someone that’s HIV+ then tell us (nicely!), we’d much rather that than being lied to – then ignored.